As musicians there is a lot of pressure to live up to things: to our teachers, to our band mates, to our conductor, to ourselves. It dangles us before the abyss of knowing we were a fraud all along. Being a terrible musician appears to be our natural state and living up to being a good musician is what we strive towards.
But what if we live into being a musician? What if we already suppose that we are/will be a great musician and that we need just continue down our path? There is no precipice to stare down, no abyss of knowing we were a fraud all along. Being on the journey of the musician makes us the musician.
The journey is the award.